Is there going to be some advanced stat boogeyman who comes out in March and is going to tell me “HAHAHA. Nope. Russell actually ranks 12th in league ____. But it’s cute that you care about point totals, rebounds and assists, you ape”?

Worse still: I clicked on this. Of my own free will. I make terrible life choices.

Breaking news: leopard retains old spots, but first, your local weather report that apparently you’re too lazy, old, or poor to get from the internet.

No, there will be. It just won’t be filmed in any one of several states that has solid tax breaks. Location scouting has begun in British Columbia.

Math checks out though.

To be fair, the Uncle Drew universe is way more fleshed out and coherent than DC’s at the moment

I look forward to the gritty reboot when Kyrie is an actual old man.

“The Kushners remain interested in corruption, and would love to delay the payoff until it doesn’t look so bad.”

To be fair, this really isn’t a conflict of interest — the Marlins haven’t been interesting in over a decade.

“I’m interested in a powerful position in government and I’m willing to bribe you with a baseball team.”

“... because of the gross political statement allowed to be made by the NFL”

The second time I’ve said this today: Texas is run by a bunch of fucking assholes. They’ve also gerrymandered the fuck out of everything so we’re pretty much screwed indefinitely in addition to having chodes for governors for decades.

I’m fairly certain Jerry Jones is going to rip Abbott’s spine out of his body like some Mortal Kombat move if he’s told he can’t host another Super Bowl.

Remember: the market and corporations are always right when reacting to governmental over-regulation.*

I’m quite certain Colin Kapernick has never said he’s oppressed. He’s fighting for those who are. Why is this a concept Republicans don’t get?

But there’s probably sweet tea or leamonaid in it for you, so you know, there’s that.

Breitbart didn’t need sources. He just made shit up. Then God killed him, proving that using sources is the better way to go.

Hahaha. And with that comment you’ve single-handedly proven the widely held belief that Trump supporters are hysterical drama queens with below average intelligence.

The Nebraska State Patrol busted him, which I think might have been better than Chris Hansen.

The only Rob Schneider classic is The Animal.