Already forgot all the times he tried to cut SS and Medicare? Dementia’s a fascinating thing sometimes.

That razor-thin, mediocre electoral college win is everything to him.

I think it’s haunting a dead mall somewhere in Indiana.

Amway really missed a golden opportunity when Memphis was looking to repurpose the Pyramid, would be a great HQ for them.

Say what you will, but I’m thinking he’s going to beat Hillary again in 2020. 

It’s appropriate that he announced his re-election bid at the Amway Center considering his giant scam his first term has been. 

This was my favorite part.

So he did exactly what we paid him to do? Unlike, say, what happened with Mighty Number 9? Sounds like he earned his Kickstarter money. 

It's in a 90-day residential treatment program for OxyContin addiction

I think we lost it right around, oh, 1861 at the latest, but realistically probably shortly after 1789, when everyone got done celebrating the ratification of the Constitution and then they all kind of quietly said “But we’re still going to have slavery in MOST of the country, right?”

locked in a concentration camp in Texas.

We are fighting for the soul of America!

Yup, she and Booker have giant red flags. I hate how people can’t have a real discussion about their actual policies that impacted real people without it turning into “do you want to let Trump win again?”

He doesn’t get to go to his first choice college, like millions of other people.

Homer: *Pitching funny headline mistakes to the family* Okay “Drought Threatens To Turn West Into Dessert! Yum yum! I think I’d like some whipped cream on my Wyoming!

Lisa: Dad. The word’s “desert” and those farmers are suffering! 

Homer: From what? Too much hot fudge? Hah! Yeehee! Come on Bart show me some love.

Bart:…

It’s probably not, though if it is, him going down for a setup would probably be bad.

Yeah. You know what doesn’t get you washed out of Harvard? Misdemeanor crimes, like Tp-ing the opposing team’s football QB’s house, or getting arrested at a protest march. Do you have to be a perfect angel? Nah.

Probably just about all of it.

It’s only a matter of time before some idiot (poorly) forges something along those lines, and a matter of even shorter time until the hilariously inept scammer is revealed. 

How much of “this regional chain is better than comparable national chains” is just because a lot of logistics and quality control issues are vastly easier at a smaller scale, anyway?