God we are so fucked.

Please don’t let it be Tom Hanks, which was the name that sprung to my mind. I’d die inside.

“The closeted perv has never come out as gay”

Because he very well may not be; being a child predator /= gay. Abusive sex is about power, not identity.

Leslie Jones can and should do a lot better than a smarmy douche like John Mayer. Also, she should be aware of John’s self proclaimed “David Duke Dick”.

Meanwhile, on Seth Meyers...

For all the French reputation for sophistication, their humor often strikes me as rather dumb. I recall looking up some Charlie Hebdo cartoons after all the controversy and found them below Mad magazine level.

It’s so much shade, it’s like an event horizon.

How many times did Shailene Woodley’s neighbors think the phrase “What the fuck is wrong with this family?” while driving past their house?

Blac Chyna will eat her placenta. Fantastic.

I disagree.

I feel badly about this but my first thought was “Oh, Cris ‘Leave Britney Alone’ Crocker was at it again

I don’t know how to embed things but this one cracked me up.

YAY! SNS IS STILL AROUND!

Oh — Emirjeta Xhelili? Of the Mayflower Xhelilis?

Not sure how this is a thing when the name itself is a portmanteau of “fucking wrong.”

What the fuck are you talking about? Have you been in a coma while the media has propped up Trump for free over the last 12 months?

Matt Lauer has always been terrible. He couldn’t even hold Ryan Lochte’s feet to the fire, and he was expected to handle Trump’s word salad? This show was always going to be a disaster.