Smoking weed made someone drive fast?

I’ve been waiting for this very crash & burn from Coulter for 20 years. Don’t take my candy, it’s so delicious.

Man ok but I think that ensemble is dope as hell.

That’s the face of a man forced to share an umbrella with a woman he does not personally find fuckable.

“Taylor wants to keep her private life private.”

Tom wanted the relationship to be more public than she was comfortable with.

I don’t know, but YOU LEAVE KETCHUP OUT OF THIS.

Oh my gosh, 3 months of dating is almost like no time at all if you’re not famous. You’re dating just long enough to discover the other person doesn’t like cheese on their hamburgers and GIRL THAT IS WHEN YOU KNOW IT IS OVER.

so i just learned recently that it’s not pronounced with a Z:

I have thought about this for a long time. And I have no answer.

She buys groceries?! I assumed her sustenance came from turning her head 180 degrees and eating the face of her partner during copulation.

Looks like she was imitating a standard retard.

I guess this is solid proof, though, that meanness won’t keep you alive forever.

Welp...

Bye, Phyllis.

“We’re the party of Lincoln! You remember him! He fought a whole big war to free the slaves! So, basically, ignore the last 50 years of actual policy and remember the guy from 150 years ago. Clearly, we care more about civil rights than those dirty Democrats.”

I love that this is the Republican narrative. It’s like…

I watched three episodes of Girls and couldn’t believe how much it lacked self unawareness. I kept waiting for the punch line— waiting for it to reveal itself as a parody of stereotypical Millenials, waiting for it to let me know it was in on the joke: Hannah is terrible! But I kept watching and came to the horrific…

Did the mom at least give the new kid a chance? Maybe he was much better than her own kid! Upgrades!

Bloom: “Hey, Miranda. Just a head’s up. The most embarrassing photos you can imagine of me are going to be coming out. You’ve been warned”

What is Matt Bomber supposed to do, “easily”?