Average Anna sounds practically chaste next to me. 

WHAT??? That seriously shocks me. I heard Poison Years on the radio today and was like, “Hey, what’s Bob Mould been doin these days?” 

I think he just wanted to upsell the special! Both him and I worked in the restaurant industry for quite some time, so my best guess is that he didn’t give an actual fuck. He wanted to sell the $25 plate instead of the $13-$17 dollar plate. He didn’t go check with the kitchen either, just assured us that “of course…

A former boyfriend of mine was allergic to fish, but oddly not shellfish (which is usually goes the other way around). There was a crab meat pasta dish he ordered at a restaurant once and he asked the waiter specifically if it was real crab or fake because he had an allergy to fish. Waiter assured us up one side and…

It’s only fitting that I stumble across this article when for the past hour my 12 year old Gaga stan daughter is pouting that I won’t fly her to Vegas for this show. Meet and greet passes were also mentioned. When I was her age, I was stoked that my parents took me to see The Monkees at the State Fair one town over. 

I’m the monster that takes her tree down December 26. I have no shame. I get tired of the constant barrage of decorations, music, and the orgy of gift buying that I’m done with Christmas the moment those presents are opened. I’m probably scarring my children for life, aren’t I? 

Yes I know. 

So maybe it’s just my hot take as an old, but She’s the Man is a riff of One of the Guys from 85, which (yes I know) riffs on Twelfth Night. The gal that played Terri(y) in One of the Guys was impossibly hot and made a convincingly cute dude. Amanda was probably familiar with that treatment and thought the results…

Beat me to it.

This had to have been in Omaha. 

Boomerang is the fucking shit. “I have hammer time in my shoe” is the only way I can talk about badly needing a pedicure. 

Don’t forget his character lusting over a teenager girl! And all these years later, I can relate to Annette Benning’s character. Being married to a guy like Kevin Spacey’s character would make me want to scream into my pillow every day. 

He looks like a muscular Cabbage Patch doll. I think he’s kind of charming and is a smoking hot dancer, but I think Adam Driver, who’s not conventionally handsome, is way hotter. 

This is the correct take. 

“A-low Vera” I think, or something like that, because her current husband’s ex-wife (at the time still-wife! was named Vera). I was very lukewarm on her as an actor, but that really pissed me off at the time. The whole America’s Sweetheart bullshit narrative was just window dressing. 

Off topic but Phyllis was at my uncle’s funeral this summer. She’s from St. Louis as am I, and they went to college together and were pretty tight. It’s odd seeing celebrities in real life situations, but even more awkward at a funeral. I mean, here we are - all grieving - and the goddamn minister decides he would…

Did nobody notice that Andrew Dice Clay played her dad? 

I just have to chime in on this one because I’m still pissed about it. Last Thanksgiving weekend I went to see the English Beat and all the assholes that were in town to visit their parents decide to show up too. We are talking a crowd that is easily age 40-50s (including myself) and who should know better. A good…

LEGIT: I saw a girl walking down the street in our VERY suburban neighborhood leading a comfort/service companion miniature horse. I know it’s smaller, but how do you house a horse in the burbs?