for the last time,

I don’t want mom friends. I have friends who are also mothers but friendships based on mom status are annoying, micro-managing, competitive contrivances. I’m sick of talking about, living for, and obsessing over my kid. Can I just have friends that are mine instead of strategic plans for my child?

Ok, not a Perez Hilton fan but have to leap to his defence here. Any parent of young kids knows that they see you naked constantly. In the morning my bathroom is like a rave in Ibiza (only not fun), we’re all running around naked trying to get ready. Any accusations of Hilton being a pedophile for showering with his…

Perez Hilton is a horrible person and I hope karma catches up with him someday, but this is just bullshit and I have little doubt it’s being spread by people who want to perpetuate the disgusting myth that homosexuals are pedophiles.

Yep, that first marriage bail out was fucked up. The guy was dying, she divorces him, but still goes ahead with a magazine spread that portrays them as a loving couple, even after the mag offered to pull the article when they heard she was separating. The woman is somewhat calculating, in my humble opinion. He might…

Is that Khal Drogo Jason Momoa? And why isn’t he showing up and touching on me randomly?

Go to bed, baby. You’re DRUNK.

It’s the eye contact that slays me. Like the camera is just going to run off if he doesn’t keep an eye on it.

Yeah, that sure is a penis.

I just can’t get past $4,000 for the dress. That was half the cost of my entire wedding.

I love that your basis for going to see a movie is whether your dad has previously met the lead character.

- “Spending the Weekend on the Couch in My Underwear Browsing the Internet Mindlessly: The Motion Picture.”

Scene: Norristown, Pennsylvania, Town and country apartments off of Astor Street, a.k.a. HELL

Reminds me of that Melanie Griffiths film, Pacific Heights, eew the cockroach scene *shudders*. I also saw this episode of Hoarders once and the house was infested just effing infested with cockroaches, just unbelievable..let me see if I can find a link.....

ooooooooohhhhhh I saw the worms in my kitten’s barf after she got the de-wormer. OOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOO NOOOOOO

Didn’t she also Jaime Waters who played Ray, the guy who kept beating her up?

I once peed in my cat’s litterbox cause I didn't want to put pants on. GET ON MY LEVEL JLAW

Yeah, male or female, I’d rather take turns.

Word. I just watched a video of an elephant mom whose newborn calf wasn’t breathing, so she kicked it gently and massaged it with her trunk util it picked its head up and took a breath.

This type of baby license comment always goes over well.