Fruit Looped

9/30/15

I would love some croutons with this word salad, but I am allergic to crunchy.

9/29/15

My sister-in-law wore her wedding dress to my wedding. [drops mic]

9/29/15

This is sad, but diet frosted lemonade? If you're going to be put to death...shouldn't you just be like, fuck it, I'll just have the calories?

9/28/15

Awwww yeeeaaah, all that sexy Florida air and sexy Florida smells. What’s that sexy sound? Yelling tourists? Oh boner, contain yourself.

9/27/15

First PP will tell you none of their budget goes to abortions, but then tells you this will hurt abortions.

9/27/15

Kind of a shame quitting in the middle of a term is what allowed him to find his spine.

9/27/15

I hesitate to reply to your obvious trolling, but apparently you don’t know that Planned Parenthood offers it’s services to both women AND MEN.

9/27/15

This is what I imagined Boehner really wanted to say.

9/27/15

What they don’t mention is that the “foreign” girl ended up in that orphanage because her parents couldn’t afford another mouth to feed because they have no access to contraceptives, sex ed and family planning, or legal abortions. Or her parents died because religious nuts convinced them to fuck without condoms. Or…

9/27/15

Ladies, rape is awful and we feel really bad for you but also you need to give birth and preferably parent the kid if you get pregnant.

9/27/15

A: Rape is a horrific crime that is never the fault of the victim, who deserves prompt and compassionate care.

9/24/15

It’s from Headlock on My Heart which is the most ridiculous song and you should watch it rn oh wait I’ll help you

9/24/15

I went looking for a dust gif to make a joke about how old I am and instead came across this gem:

9/24/15

I’d take the Kardashian clan any day over these people. Don’t know if I can explain my reasons, but I will give it a try. The Kardashians may be money grubbing whores, but they aren’t pretending anything otherwise. The Duggers are holier-than-thou money grubbing hypocrites.

9/24/15