I’m going to make some assumptions about this writer:

I start every letter with “Where do you get off?”

[door flies open]

Sorry, wrong site.

University of Kentucky Men’s Basketball.

We know who I’m talking about.

That’s what drives me nuts. People who bitch about certain fantasy positions never do anything to head it off at the pass. I’m not saying draft Gostkowski in the first round, but you know, maybe pick up Dan Bailey or someone who’s guaranteed to get a look at a 50 yard kick and make it every week before you spend a…

Thing you don’t know, can’t know, when you’re coming with names for a kid is what kind of crazy-ass names are already out there, and how little it matters if you do a “traditional” name to cut down on time spent repeating your kid’s name or how to spell it to other parents.

When your kid goes to practice with a Peyton,…

I think she was fine with playful flirting, but when Berman asked to throw a hot load on her backbackbackbackbackback, she drew the line.

Struggle was real.

Struggle was real.

Yeah, early 90s. I actually pooled some of my Christmas money to buy it.

Yeah, early 90s. I actually pooled some of my Christmas money to buy it.

I bought a 2TB external HDD for $60 last week. I mean, holy shit.

I bought a 2TB external HDD for $60 last week. I mean, holy shit.

Had the same feeling when I got one free buying an LG G4. I was like... I remember when I scraped up enough money to have a 60GB external hard drive for $250 and felt like I was getting a good deal.

Then I’m holding something about half the size of a fingernail going... this has twice that and more.

Unreal.

Had the same feeling when I got one free buying an LG G4. I was like... I remember when I scraped up enough money to…

As a kid, I used to eat the “shell” off of the McNuggets, then eat the chicken like some kind of awful salty oyster.

I also used to use honey as a dipping sauce.

I was a disgusting child.

They should change Cam’s nickname to Spartacus.

I think Hardy getting fined for not speaking to the media, but being heaped with praise by his head coach and team owner after that altercation with the Special Teams coach would be just too much for me to handle as a human being.

If we were out on the street, we probably would have had a fight.

Beautiful. +1

Look, I’m not saying anything, but has anyone seen Jonny Gomes and Buck Angel in the same room at the same time?

I mean, shit, don’t get me wrong, there’s a reason I clicked on this article.

I feel bad for my wife. She totally got blindsided by this, even though I said “I am literally the most normal person my family has produced, and I’m fuckin’ nuts.”

See, like, that’s the thing. I think people who get that via in-law are getting like the ass-end of the deal. In a way, growing up with him being like this for the last 25+ years, I have become accustomed to it.

When I was in my early 20s, it’d really upset me because I’d actually try and have a dialogue with him about…