Excuse me sir, but that’s illegal in over half of the states, and I—

OK, I almost made it through that with a straight face. I prefer the dump-and-toke myself as a responsible suburban father who doesn’t wish to waste water.

... sounds a bit at the top like you’re shitting on one of America’s most sacred institutions: The Shower Beer.

Kevin Johnson was really dismayed upon looking up a phrase he’d heard on Urban Dictionary wasn’t actually “kissing ass like groceries”.

*sobs* “You’re a-huntin’ MILFs with the angels now, sweet prince.”

I just remembered them from their Blacks-on-Blondes days. Hearing they were still around made me wonder what Captain Stabbin and the MILF Hunter were up to.

God, the struggle was real. It’s so cliche, but I remember rubbing more than a few out to the Sears catalog.

The fact that you can watch HD porn on a phone that even a 4-year-old can operate, and take it ANYWHERE with you is still mind-blowing to me. You bring teenage me into the future, and try explaining that to him,…

I sent a picture of a scrambled porn channel to a younger friend of mine. When he couldn’t identify it, I immediately called him an overly entitled Millenial who would never understand the difficulties of locating proper masturbation material that us “olds” knew.

They’ll never know the joys of a stack of communal…

The amount of shit I don’t know about paid-for porn is kind of incredible, now that I think of it.

I was shocked to see Dogfart was still alive and kicking when they offered Kim Davis that deal for the interracial lesbian porn.

I didn’t know if Playboy had ever breached into anything beyond videos of pictorials being made, or simulated lesbian stuff. Been years since I tried to watch scrambled Playboy channel.

I wonder if we’ll see the “Plus” content get more hardcore to meet demand... or is it already? I dunno, I stick to Pornhub for all my mastrubatory needs, so I’m behind the times, so to speak.

I knew there was something preventing that, just wasn’t sure what mechanism there was. Thanks for the enlightenment.

Regarding Playboy: I almost guarantee that they’ll double-down on web content, then have a fucking QR code for their PG-13 pictorials with a “WANT TO SEE MORE!?”

It’ll be like GoDaddy except it will actually pay off.

Good to see Gregggggg back.

Also, regarding daily fantasy, maybe I’m missing something, but can anyone tell me why when some of those sites will match your first deposit AND choose your opponent, why me and a buddy can’t drop $200 each into an account, one of us THROW the game, collect the winnings and split the…

As a guy who loves a team with a retractable roof, I know that’s a factor, but I don’t see the rationale of blaming that on the loss. At all. I just mean, that game was great. My team didn’t come out on the good end of it, but that’s sports. Win some, lose some, and I’m a little relieved that the Rangers didn’t win…

That off-the-bat thing was wild.

I just more mean, the trash/beer/water bottle throwing, OK, that’s really not acceptable anywhere. But the chants, the way that whole crowd was just so into that game... that’s a cool thing to watch, just as a fan of sport, and frankly, you don’t see it in the USA proper at most…

I also don’t give a tinker’s damn about “unwritten rules” and bat flips, so, it helps.

Sports talk down here in Dallas is dominated with “What did the mob mentality of that stadium do to affect the outcome of the game?”

As a Rangers fan, I’m disappointed by these takes because, frankly, we were 8 1/2 games back at the beginning of August, and we took a much better team to five games in the ALDS. We were…

As a Rangers fan, absolutely agree. If we want to get all technical, too, there was a helluva lot of “gamesmanship” going on with Bannister trying to slow the tempo of the previous inning to “ice” the pitcher. This unwritten rule shit can pound sand.

I live near Dallas for the same reason that an old man doesn’t want to go to a home: I know it’d be better for me, but I like knowing where things are.

This other story was initially speculated to be linked to this crime: