She is such a barf

I’m breaking up with my boyfriend just so I can do this. Actually.

Same. My only qualm is her claim of learning about feminism from Lena Dunham, which is not a thing.

Kudos to Taylor. Winder how she felt when her BFF Lena Dunham was trying to not pay the artists and writers who “opened” for her ticketed book tour.

Veto. That sounds like Barbie’s slutty German friend. I prefer “Ms. Lippy needs her special time.” Kind of a mouthful but it works for me.

^^ THIS

no. I may have to live in a world where Donald Trump can run for president and that batshit Rachel chick can dominate the cable news but I refuse to live in a world where Channing Tatums penis is named Gilbert.

Clearly she doesn’t watch Broad City

I want to fuck his face

Dammit! I am so late to this party, I wanted to have this joke!

Yeah, they could have binders full of ‘em.

You know what’s not actually an apology? “I’m very sorry that what I thought were light-hearted ironic remarks were taken so seriously, and I’m very sorry if people took offense.”

Kid is going to get laaaaaaiiiddd.

You don’t say...

I do a similar but slightly different thing: my “passion project” is writing so I tell myself I have to write at least 200 words after work. It’s a small enough amount that I actually sit down and do it. sometimes I can make myself keep going and if not, at least I have one more paragraph...

especially if it involves The Babysitter’s Club

Mallory Ortberg is the shit. If she thinks dude should be gone, I’m glad dude is gone. End of story.

I hear this, too. I’ve gotten in trouble more times than I can count for not being perky enough. Not with clients but with bosses. They don’t claim to have any problems with my work or anything I’ve specifically done, it’s just my “vibe.” which is frustrating as fuck because I’m not actually sure how to fix my vibe…

I. Fucking. Love. Her.