#thatswhatshesaid

But what if I think it's extremely likely that there are centipedes in my vagina?

I mean this very seriously:

why do I love this so much?

"yes, I do have beautiful hair. And you have a dick the size of a pistachio. Now, excuse me while I enjoy the opera."

aaaaaaaaand this is why I went to a school with no Greek system

good for him for coming clean. I know too many grown-ass-adults who can't admit when they've lied. And shame on the grown-ass-adult who manipulated his son for financial profit.

I just laughed so loud at the first paragraph of this that I woke up the farting old guy next to me in the doctor's office waiting room. Huzzah!

I would rather watch the golden globes opening monolog 100 times over than watch this.

remember Fruit by the Foot? Is that still a thing because I definitely want to eat some and not make a weird dress out of it.

he makes me want to take my pants off (Ryan Gosling, not Kirby Delauter).

Stop trying to make yourself seem like a good mother/politician/person, Sarah. It's never going to happen.

adding this to the help page for the teens I work with. Thanks. Too angry and sad to post anything else now.

Sorry but making this was unreasonably fun AND made me feel justified for watching an ungodly number of hours of 30 rock.

Mostly I just want to know what the situation is in this stock photo...

my senior year in high school I was in a really bad car accident, after which I had the worst insomnia. A therapist suggested I write down everything i remembered from the accident -not even how I felt about it necessarily - just the facts. The night after I did it, i slept like a baby. Once I knew the incident was…

Seriously? The dog that got thrown out the window was named KARMA?! This is like a poorly written short story (which is also a good metaphor for JBeeb's life).

Yeah, why didn't she respond to that totally fucked up question about a traumatic incident in her life exactly the way YOU think she should have? That's totally "the worst part of this." In fact, why didn't she just Cosby's dick? WTF is wrong with her?

let's just say it's not something i recommend. unless you want to end up in a certain "club" with me and some other cool cats.