Dowd’s too much of a loose cannon. He’d probably give it a positive review just to mess with us. 

“Fred Durst directs—”

I mean... that’s just comics. We could run down the list of “stupid things left out” and be here all day. 

Is it the bat part? Can we do another mammal?

That’s the best part about the Joker. Multiple Choice Origin. 

Just so we’re clear a “D” means “see it immediately and bask in how terrible it is”, right?

This movie looks amazing. Joaquin Phoenix is incredible, and this looks like an appropriately dark tale. I can’t wait for it.

He hasn’t been cancelled yet, why is he doing a stand up set as if he has?

Let me know where I can invest in this movie theater of yours. Because my recent showing of Ready or Not (great movie!) was ruined by idiots who I guess really needed to check their snapstagrams. 

Spoilerphobic Culture has reached it’s peak. 

What is this list? No mention of Conan at ALL.

I’ve had a theory that Rey was Force created like Anakin was. (That’s why she’s a natural in the Force, and why she was abandoned: Her parents didn’t want her.) Maybe two were created, or she’s twins?

So did He said/She said in the 80's. So did Rashomon. So did Star Trek: The Next Generation’s “A Matter of Perspective.” So did Leverage’s “THe Rashomon Job.” X-Files “Jose Chung from Outer Space” I think there was an episode of Frasier. 

WHEN!? WHEN WILL HASBRO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE NUMBER OF MARRIAGES THEY’VE BROKEN UP WITH THEIR TERRIBLE GAME? 

I hear the patent owner Al E. Gator couldn’t be reached for comment, but could be seen in an oversized fedora, trench coat, and what looked like green boots. 

I’ve been dying for this. I can’t wait to try it, Popeye’s is hands down my favorite fast food fried chicken.

Can’t he change, though? Isn’t that the point of a lot of other stories really, the ability to change and grow? i think he starts to see growth in this movie. He learns who he is. Again, he may not get it until he’s with Spring, but he’s moving on, and trying.

I agree with you about those not being the characters names, but because we’re already in a surreal environment as it is. We don’t get that he’s narrating it, but we get that this is sort of through his eyes, if that makes sense. Like a third person limited scope.

Honestly, that’s one of the more important parts of the movie that’s overlooked: We’re all dicks in some way. We’ve all had that “romantic vs. reality” moment in the film, whether it be about a job, a lover, a friend, a situation... they should show that scene to all high school freshman on their first day of school…

Exactly. He may not get it 100% right, but all evidence shows that he’s going to do better next time. And that’s all we can hope for in all of us: To do better.