That’s how my dad started his toast at my wedding.

I have all the monocles I need. I subscribed to Rich Old Dude Crate. It gets me a new monocle every month, along with other symbols of being rich. This month is one of those handlebar mustaches.

you like me, though, right? That’s all i care about.

The best advice is from King of the Hill

Question: Will this hurt the chances of finding investors for the Porg edition of A New Hope I’m making in the basement with my cats?

Steven Universe fans. (And i love Steven Universe.)

It’s an underrated masterpiece. I wish it was remembered more fondly by more people, but noooooo.... they all head to “You’ve got Mail” which is hilariously dated (but I’m looking forward to the remake “You’ve got an unsolicited Dick pic.”) or this one. But there was something about the magic of Joe vs. the Volcano,…

Are you... Joe?

Then I’ll feel perfectly fine until the brain cloud kills me.

Great write up, but Joe vs. The Volcano is superior to all movies. Period. I’m including star wars in this.

I know I’m not the only one who has made this joke, but I’m very fond of:

True. But from the mother’s perspective, she raised a child then watched as he left her and his heritage. I can’t believe I’ve heard otherwise, but I’m firmly in the “this was a metaphor” camp (too many people have been telling me that the boy at the end WAS the dumpling, brought back to life. this ties into my “film…

The problem is that, as people smarter than me have pointed out, that Rotten Tomatoes is being misread all the time, and it’s sucking the nuance out of reviews.

That makes more sense. Still a little misleading when someone says, “We have a 92% score!”

The one near me did a “Captain America” marathon for the release of Civil War. Then they had to switch everything around because they couldn’t get one of the movies to play, and ended up putting in a DVD.

I’m guessing that the major downside is dealing with AMCs. Great if you love standing in line and taking that 50/50 guess if your movie will play correctly!

The whole critic system is broken, regardless. We run off for Rotten Tomato scores that generalize the nuance of critiques. We look for “audience scores” which can be swayed by things like how the film was marketed, or if they find something offensive. (Spoiler: They probably will.)

Take my star, dammit

I thought we all agreed to enjoy it, but then pretend it didn’t happen.

I see a lot of posts asking “what did this guy do to deserve this?”