It’s like a having a winning slot machine in your dash.

I’m calling it. Stephen takes the prize.

Well I love my 3. It has no idea its a 7 second hatchback and pretends to accelerates and sort of handles like 5 second coupe. Out of sport mode its a 8 second hatchback which is still amusingly deluded.

Yes. They really are that bad.

I loved the idea of a Mini until I rented one. Never has a car been so freaking fickle.

Yes. Yes they are. Starting to hate mine.

I hate being actually fingered. Hate it. It doesn’t feel pleasurable and most men don’t know what the fuck they’re doing. I also like a light touch when I’m being stimulated, and men get weird about that too. Like they want to act like my clit is a turntable or something. It’s not. It’s a clit and I think I know what…

Oh man. My ex had his issues but I would lay on the sofa or bed and he would finger, massage, give me a whole body rubdown while I watched tv and we both thought it was awesome. He got to ogle and fondle my bits and I got to relax. Maybe I’m just too lazy for sex.

I love how dudes act like they’re bestowing a sacred gift when they go down and I’m thinking I’d be just fine with fingers and peen.

Dude: (gets a blowjob)

I have it on good authority that if you touch a woman three times on her elbow, poke her left thigh once, then lick her right earlobe, she squirts.

Same. Could take or leave oral sex most of the time too.

Grooming is exactly what they are describing. Like, to a T.

This is not an odd attitude for someone from the “manosphere”. Most of them believe grown-ass men should be able to have sex with any person who has hit puberty (or, at least, they used to—I don’t read their stuff anymore). For me, that was 10. Ponder that for a minute—I’ve argued with men who think I should have…

Let’s be honest. This is all pretty terrible. I can’t even imagine the price point on this garbage. I already own jeans and hoodies and I don’t wear them on my high-fashion days.

I’m no fashion expert, but I swear to God half of this looks exactly like what my mother was wearing in the 80s and the other half looks like what people were doing in the 90s and none of it looks new or original to me at all. It looks like the stuff I can currently pick up at the Goodwill for $3.50 a piece.

I work for Nissan Motor Manufacturing UK in the Sunderland Plant that makes these, for the QA dept. There is no trim level on which the rear seats do not fold down. Not sure how Jalopnik came to this conclusion.

“body diversity and age inclusivity.”

you went on a vacation and you chose MUNCIE, INDIANA?!