Once, I took my father and he won the team’s best beard contest.

His diet went downhill when he learned that using chopsticks to eat food wasn’t nearly as easy and efficient as using a pair of Tsongas.

I though Usain’s mom was Asian. Isn’t she Irene Bolt?

“Get in the fucking box you motherfucking bitch motherfucker.”

“Multiple Cirrhosis? How many lizards does this guy have?” --Emmitt Smith