Dads? Fuck that. I’m a 29 year old woman and I don’t know how to freaking braid. You need right arms, three mirrors and a legion of bobby pins and ponytail holders to do that shit. Impossible!

It’s the least surprising and most annoying. Oh hey, you’re trying something you’ve never had before and you’re unsure about what parts you’re supposed to eat and what parts you’re not supposed to? Let’s make fun of you for trying.

Someone needs to open a restaurant called “Eat It Or Fuck Off.” I’d eat there.

There’s a specialist steak restaurant here (Melbourne, Australia) that takes exactly that approach. They don’t even ask you how you want it done, the chef cooks it as he thinks appropriate, & you eat it or fuck off.

I love raw cookie dough. It is awesome.

People who like red velvet cake are the same people who like ranch dressing.

Yeah when you start it up you pull a cord, then the arrow spins around the dial and wherever it stops it tells you what noise that animal says. For instance:

Of course it was goddamn Bohemian Rhapsody, the official theme song of boring middle aged white people who think Applebee’s is a place to get drunk.

Zut alors! A high-roofed car, on espere!

As a Canadian, there is a part of me (the late night drunken part) that wishes I had access to Fox News. Because sometimes you just want to yell at your TV.

wow Anna why is gawker so biased in favor of facts and science and medical research

It occurs to me that some men think sex is always on the woman’s terms because the men ask for things and the women get to say yes or no. But the men don’t get to say yes or no because women frequently don’t ask for anything. It’s not that women don’t want anything; it’s just that our patriarchal society conditions…

They just announced that all selfie sticks are banned in WDW and I AM SO HAPPY. SO. HAPPY. Those things are a menace.

Yeah, that's abuse. My mother did the same, and worse. Change now, or your children will hate you forever.

You know you could be reported to Child Protection Services for this kind of abuse.

Ok "shaking the shit out of" any kid under 8 can cause brain damage. "Shaken baby" is a misnomer; shaking is medically damaging to all young children. You need to quit that now. If it's between that and spanking, then please spank your child. Spanking doesn't generally result in brain damage or death.

Do you have kids? And I am not asking that in a patronizing way, I promise. As a parent of a 4 year old, I surprise and disgust myself with how I will warn/talk/barter/compromise with my kid about simple things like brushing teeth. I actually found that paragraph you posted really nice to read. I know I need to be…

So, that sounds pretty terrible. At what age is shaken baby syndrome no longer a risk? And somehow I don't think hitting a child is the best way to teach a child not to hit.

The amount that parent cares for there child matters not one whit. It feels real to them, but the reality of statistical evidence and the need for herd immunity FAR outweighs their uneducated paranoia.