*ahem*

Be a lot cooler if he did. My name is Lincoln Chaffee, you killed my father, prepare to die!

But he’s proud to say he has NO SCANDALS, you guyz!

I was picturing Mark Gatiss the whole debate:

jim webb killed lincoln chafees dad

Whoa, is it just me or is Bill Murray trolling the Democratic Party?

like when he justified his Glass-Steagall vote with the info that he didn’t really know how to be a senator at the time

no, Huckabee, liberals think it’s racist to be racist.

Oh yes Asians eating dog; this is cutting edge 1970’s material. I’m sure people think you’re racist because you don’t support the DPRK regime...

You know he sat there and came up with that “sin not skin” Tweet and smiled, whispering to himself, “That’s so good. It rhymes. Presidents should rhyme. God thinks I’m hilarious.”

I’m sorry, I can hear you looooosers over the sound of my awesomeness.

“TRUUUUUUMP!!!!!!”

My “fave” cabbage patch doll

*Some* vegetarians. Not this one! When I just stopped eating meat 21 years ago, that was the end. The only times I’ve had it is when some dummy that I order soup from says it’s vegetarian and then I suddenly’ll have a bacon bit stuck in my teeth. Or, even worse, the chicken stock. Why do so many otherwise vegetarian…

TBH, I don’t even know why they continue to sell any variety of superglue in a bottle large enough to be mistaken for eye drops. I mean, unless you’re about to sit down and mend 4,673 broken coffee cup handles in a row, that shit’s gonna solidify into a hard little ethyl-cyanoacrylate nugget WAY before you come close…

I had some of those DKNY tights - I think they were from Costco. Very opaque, but not so stifling that I couldn’t wear them in the weird weather of San Francisco. They don’t run. At one point I brought those with me by accident when I meant to bring footless, and in desperation I chopped off the toe seam. They are…

I had some of those DKNY tights - I think they were from Costco. Very opaque, but not so stifling that I couldn’t…

ladies...they are ALL DUMBASSES!

One of the best parts in that segments was when he talked about how pro lifers could be super heroes if they tried to end gun violence, but right now they are basically comic book collectors because they only value life when it’s inside a package. Once it comes out, it’s worthless to them.

“Bangs cut off your face, your wonderful, beautiful face, and make you look childlike and sad, all at the same time.”

Counterpoint Exhibit 1 - I cut my own bangs a few weeks ago, because they cover at least two of my fivehead, and they look goddamned awesome.