I take back my other comment. THIS is what nightmares are made of.

Also feel this way about This Sick Beat™. Trademark your original phrasings, TayTay, This Sick Beat is hip hop slang!

But look at the pretty pink pencils!

#STOPWHITEPEOPLE2015

I would like to declare war on radical Christians. Someone please drop bombs on them. Thanks.

Binders of reasonable Muslims sounds pretty bad, but handfuls of women is clearly the worst.

hometown San Jose natives represent! Haven't lived there for 20+ years, but pleased to see stories like this out of SJ - could be much worse!

AMAZING news day, you mean?

When Bubba graduates do you think I could hire him as my assistant? There's lots of stuff of my desk for him to knock over

You can’t put them in hotel safes, you can’t hang their cradle from the bough of a tree....I mean WHAT IS LEFT?!!?

DON’T TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE, YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM.

Us IRL

It could have been the Jezebel beach house! We could have had parties with cocktails made of male tears (they’re super bitter).

“Jim Bob and Michelle love their son, and they love when they can spend time with his family... But every time they’re photographed with him, a story gets made out of it that rehashes the whole mess, and it’s painful for everyone.”

“They are still stunned that this is how it has all gone down,”

I guess that’s the last we’ll see of Jared’s footlong

but hey, at least he’s still skinny!

I would like to say that this Bears has never eaten a bag of brownie mix.

These party bears ate “a bag of flour, brownie mix, a Toblerone bar and a can of Pepsi,” and left “a pile of poop the size of Harder’s foot” in the living room.