Things that will be said in the Verlander bedroom tonight: “BJ, Upton.”

Whoosh

wall built to defend against mexico ends up hurting united states

3 wins, 3 draws, 4 losses. Yeah, that goal was a phantom, but this team’s quality is a phantasm. We’re out on merit.

The USMNT is an example of something that is actually disrespectful to the troops.

I follow Gary Sanchez on Twitter because no matter how many insults you hurl at him, he never blocks.

When I was a kid, I used to wonder, “What does ESPN stand for?”

Also, the safety is the only play in football where players celebrate by impersonating the referee.

Also he fucks horses.

In the immortal words of Dennis Green, Vice is who we thought they are.

That’s a nice case for MVP you got there, Aaron Judge.

Whats going to be held against Judge is the fact he was putrid in July-August. It does highlight the fact in the other months he was fantastic (including September) but thats a significant stretch that can be pointed to.

He would be easy to pigeonhole as an Eckstein-type scrapper if you just went by his lack of height and his batting average...

In all honesty, I don’t know how anyone with a conscience can keep watching after seeing that.

Moore—who is ahead in the polls despite his blatant homophobia, and crass racism

Not to mention the time Carl got his mail order Russia bride, Melania. I mean, Svetlana.

Wisdom of a Master Shake, body of a Meatwad.

i have an aerospace engineering degree and im very stupid

Ooh, look at store-brand Schilling holding court here. His bloody hand game was no match for the bloody sock and he needs to step up his meme game bigly to hold a candle to the original. But I do look forward to him buying an arcade after he retires and promptly driving it into bankruptcy.

“i haven’t met a single Native American yet who thinks it’s racist”