They also had a forgettable season in Sydney, Australia. 

It’s funny, because Goodell’s dad definitely could have befitted from insider trading as a Representative/Senator back in the day.

Michael or Sarah.

As a scholar of pirate customs from the 1700-1850 era, I can confirm that Conte has to walk the plank and literally die now.

9/11 was two weeks ago and he's still in mourning. Cut him some slack.

The Phils are giving him a literal billion dollars.

Inject this heroin into my face.

Cool now he's gonna win a Super Bowl with New England and kill Curt Schilling.

I assumed all those people table slamming were off-duty cops...

I mean it’s about 1,000% less offensive to me than what Greg Hardy, Adrian Peterson, and that K from the Giants who’s too big of a shitbag for me to remember his name did. 

Can you imagine seeing Drew in person for even a week straight? Sounds awful.

I always knew Ump Joe West was an Antonin Scalia cosplayer.

I think you are on cocaine or have a TBI from eating too much Pequod’s.

It's the middle of the winter in Australia and was probably in the 50s.s

None of them touch the ball or are involved in the play, so it doesn't matter.

People from Pittsburgh are so fat and out of shape that they need a slower tempo to catch their breath.

Binghamton Rumble Ponies. But Tebow is hurt :(

You mean you didn't watch Taylor Twellman interview Waka Flocka Flame and basically ask him if he was surprised people from Atlanta liked soccer?

It all makes sense now. Jian Yang, pictured above, cursed the Mets. 

I think Bradley Cooper's line is used for laughs, but also to let you know that his character is a giant, selfish asshole at the beginning of the movie before exhibiting personal growth. Could they have said "Paging Dr. Ass Breath" instead? Yes.