"Clenching his buttocks"? Good thing they didn't think that he was doing Kegels.

I held a friend's hand as she waited for the drugs to kick in for a late-term non-viable pregnancy (with twins) that had be ended. I wouldn't wish the experience on my worst enemy. I wish these lawmakers had to experience reality because real life is messy, painful and full of choices that no one should ever have to…

I dropped the collision coverage on my 10 year old Civic. I lived with a few scratches and a cracked back panel. If the damage did not affect the driveability of the car, I let it slide.

A little paint and polish and it's good to go.

I worked with a guy who owned a white van. There was a spike of reports of child luring using a white van and he didn't drive it for a week out of fear of being stopped by the police.

This one is OK, it's not white.

Whenever I get a new electronic device, I just turn it on and start pressing random buttons, that works much better than reading the manual.

They were on Say Yes to the Dress. The girls sat silently in the background while the father and oldest son critiqued the wedding dress that the mother chose. They kept calling for more "modesty".

Imagine this face orange, like a pumpkin.

No, I was always thin, vomited every SINGLE day of my pregnancy, spent the last two weeks before birth in the hospital because the baby was not gaining weight, she came out underweight, but thrived once she was out. I stayed the same basic weight until menopause and BOOM gained weight. One sister was like me, gave…

Wrong time of day. That scarecrow is going to be destroyed at 3AM.

Two months after giving birth, I was back to my original weight, 5'2, 107lbs, my mother told me I was fat because my breasts were bigger from nursing.

OK, I have personally given birth, but I threw up in my mouth a little bit reading this. Holy Moly, can you spell batshit crazy? Does she keep all the sperm that her husbands squirts out because they are/were potential kids?

On the second view, I noticed the tray, not so cute now. Just like humans, they must dance for their dinner.

edited out the "Humbug" at the end.

It's called capitalism. If you want to sell me a purse for $2500 and I want to buy it for that price, then everyone goes home happy. BTW, if I could afford one, I would buy a Coach purse in a heartbeat. Until then, anyone else with money is free to buy one.

I look at them and picture them naked or having sex. Usually I start laughing or gagging which gets rid of my anger. Try, next time someone pisses you off, look at them and imagine them with their clothes off.

I see no tongue on the pug or Barbie.

Binder clips because they come in different sizes and colours which makes organizing things even easier. White ones for food, red for clothes, black for books, blue for finance docs etc.

It is a chain of pain....I have a new phrase to throw around.