This reads like those questionable stories you run into on erotica websites. Like when you're totally not reading Supernatural slashfic and suddenly they have Dean fucking his mom oh god what the fuck, people?

The best part of that post...

God dammit. Between someone getting me reading the reddit mother fucker story and this I would like to quit the internet. Jesus. Next I'm gonna end up reading an update to the mother daughter porn duo and then I'm just gonna have to jump off a bridge

Well, no one likes eating crow.

It's a bear, not a living saint.

But ... what happened to the crow? Was he injured? Being pulled by one wing out of the water — by a BEAR'S MOUTH — might injure a wing, no? And the guy taping was too interested in showing a bear eating apples for us to see if the crow could fly away! WHERE IS THE CROW?!?!? Pan back, dammit!

I see "failing", not "farting", so you're good in my book. Although farting is always funny and that would be good in my book, too.

I'm very, very glad I was dirt poor in my teens and early 20s. I paid my way through college and never had more than a couple bucks to my name. If I'd had the money for a tattoo, I'd probably have all the icons from Depeche Mode's Black Celebration album tattooed on my body. Instead I stenciled them onto a jean…

My friend and I found THIS outside of the Knitting Factory in Brooklyn...

You forgot "fuckface".

The BUYER was from FL the sex offender was from SD.

Not every Pontiac owner is a sex offender, but all sex offenders own Pontiacs.

Under the First, You Have to Show Up section, it might be good to include:

The implication is that he was motivated to illegally tow cars based on the assumption that the owners were gay. If so, he was targeting a crime at a group of people specifically. It amounts to an act of intimidation. It would be a story if they were gay, black, women, jews, aussies, or any of the above combined. He…

Why? Because it's a hate crime:

"Also, nobody told me that 69ing is a thing we don't do anymore,"

69ing is definitely a thing people still do.

After breaking up with my high school boyfriend and having a long, depressing freshman year of college, I met this guy named Clint at a summer beach party through friends. He was a perfect summer fling. He was an incredibly tall (6'7), sweet, laid back, brown curly haired stoner dude with a giant dick, and he lived…

almost the same as mine! 'cept the movie my gf and i went to 'see' was becoming jane

Ok, so this is graphic, and kinda horrifying, but 100% true, hand to God.