Its still not exactly encouraging when, of those three films, the two that weren't just derivative sequels make you go "Well, they weren't BAD".

I dunno, I haven't seen Jurassic World (but its reputation precedes it), but I was pretty unimpressed by Titanic and Avatar, once you get past the "oooh pretty", is at best a mediocre film.

It's just ambitious stubble.

No, it had a handegg in the groin. A football is either a sphere or a truncated icosahedron.

It's the JEWLUMINATI !!1!11!1!!1!

Avatar actually has both!

It's a sad indictment of the strange, mythical world outside the AV Club that the three highest-grossing films in history are, well, those three.

Quite possibly ironically masturbating into a brown paper bag to vintage 19th-century erotica that he claims to have painted himself.

She got the inspiration on a train journey from London to Manchester, apparently, which is incredible in itself, because London is basically the 21st-century version of Christians' most vindictive rhetoric about Babylon and Manchester is a dump.

"A dimwitted '80s nostalgia trip best appreciated by those who have waited years for Adam Sandler's fine-grained intelligence and Chris Columbus' filmmaking mastery to finally converge" is perhaps the most scathing opening sentence of a film review I've ever read.

Harry Potter and the Get Me a Ferrari Whatever It Takes

No-one has ever been inspired by a journey on the London Underground.

Ha. $4 per gallon. How terrible.

"To watch clips of The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, please visit our much more distinguished-sounding cousin, Comedy Central UK" is neither endearing nor helpful, you geolocking Comedy Central tossers.

I sort of like their name, and they made up for it anyway by being actually good at music.

It hasn't.

Two points:
- If you've seen In The Loop but not The Thick Of It, you're massively missing out.
- "Where do you think you are, in some fucking regency costume drama?! This is an office! Not a fucking Jane fucking Austen novel! Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet on your 'purview', Miss Piggy, and ram it up the…

Maybe her fellatio technique involves using a blowtorch on the fellatee(?)'s engorged throbbing member.

It would have been even crazier had the jumper ever actually spoken.

That would, hilariously enough, not be the worst Lucius Malfoy slash fic that I've read.