If you can’t jack off with your ghost dad to a soundtrack of the Cubbies winning the goddamned World Series, I don’t think this is even America anymore.

You asshole. +1

My grandfather died without ever having seen the cubs win the world series. So, my Dad, ever the crazy asshole he is, brought a radio out on the porch so gramps could listen in from heaven. We all thought he was going out there to jack off, but nope he was going out there to be with his Dad, which I thought was sweet.…

Go to bed, Skip.

I’m going to change my name to “3-1 lead”. Im going to get blown so much more.

He had a side bet with Pete Rose that the Indians would win. “3-1" were the odds Pete gave him.

Hot (Joking) Take: Cavs and LeBron’s fault for mocking the Warriors.

You know what else sucks? Getting kicked in the dick.

*two minutes from now* 

I never thought I’d live to see the Red Sox, White Sox, and Cubs win the Series, and I’m only 36. I might now see a Trump presidency. Let’s hope we don’t go four-for-four.

Will today’s celebrating/shootings/lockups cause so many voters to miss their chance to vote Tuesday that it sways the election? Trump gets elected and the curse of the Billy goat affects the whole nation.

“Congratulations Cubs KNICKS fans, you only have to wait until 2124 for the next one.”

David Ross will retire with more rings than A-Rod. This makes me happy.

Just woke up from a coma. You’re shitting me, right?

Fuck it, I’m writing in Theo on my ballot on Tuesday. He’s gets shit done.

I live on the Southside and it sounds like Afghanistan outside. It was worth staying up late!

Next they’ll uncover this...

ahem...

Still waiting to find Nazis on the moon.