That take is hot enough to melt steel. Which, of course, means it was burning without the aid of jet fuel.

Honestly, making a woman cum during foreplay is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Works in a few ways:

The story is obviously fake. The Browns don’t even have 3 NFL starters on offense.

The really funny thing is that there is a Tea Party group in Florida, the Space Coast Tea Party. They want the government to be cut down to the bare minimum and drowned in the proverbial bathtub... except NASA, which needs its budget to be much, much higher.

I feel so bad for that cat but I can see the murder in his eyes.

Commie martians can’t fool Rush! He’s well equipped to defend himself from their mind-control rays!

Sorry. It just freaking kills me that there are, you know, VOTERS who believe this shit. It’s like the idiots who believe that climate scientists are all involved in some mass conspiracy to positively review each others’ papers and keep those sweet government research funding dollars rolling in.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA*sob*...

The water on Mars is even saltier than the water we’ve got in Cali. Or else it’d be frozen. ;) Science!!

Mars will see his face and dry up permanently.

We could cannonize him, ya know? Shoot him out of a cannon. It’s more cost effective.

No, unless Mars has oxycontin.

There’s plenty of accessible water in California. Unfortunately, much like the water on Mars, it’s too salty to be of any help.

My only complaint about NASA’s discovery is that they didn’t also find water on California while they were at it. Buncha assholes.

Can we send Limbaugh to Mars to double check?

I would, again, on behalf of soccer fans around the world, like to thank the USA for pursuing the investigation which has brought us to this day. Sepp Blatter and his cronies would still be comfortably skimming millions without the work done by the US DoJ and others.

Please don’t suspend Matt Williams! We need him!

Someone went head hunting in DC, and for once, RGIII didn’t get a concussion out of it.

It takes a very special sort of douchebag to make Bryce Harper look like a decent human being.

It’s fitting that rodeo enthusiasts can only last for 7 seconds.