Take your star, you rat bastard.

“Keep me in mind,” said Snyder, as Deadspin readers still debated the award for biggest fuckwad in sports.

I think you meant a migraiine and diiarrhea

I forgot that Longley played during this millennium.

Yeah a Mardy Collins is definitely a cocktail. One part gin, one part rat poison, serve chilled.

Renaldo Balkman. God, I remember laughing so hard on draft night. What the fuck were they thinking? They could have gotten him in the second round too.

You can’t just make up names.

Tom Ley owes you five bucks for doing his job for him.

It’s safe to say that TMZ has done more for domestic violence victims than the NFL.

I actually think his very existence provides, in and of itself, a spectacularly persuasive argument against free-market capitalism.

For White, that’s actually a compliment.

Zaphod Beeblebrox cosplayer Don Knobler 

PATRICK BEVERLEY DEESCALATING TAUNTING RESPONSE PATTERN

He’s been breathing too many Diesel fumes for too long.

Not only was Hack a 2nd round pick in the NFL (all of those other guys were 5th rounders or UDFA), but everyone else graduated college between 2008-2014. Hack’s only been out of school for two years!

There’s always the XFL 2! Third time’s a charm!

Has there ever been a second round QB pick who, absent injuries or some tragic circumstance, literally never played a single snap? How do you scout a guy, think highly enough of him to take him in the second, and he’s not even worth a snap in garbage time?

Other than the No. 21 jersey and the packaging, there’s nothing about the doll that indicates it’s Sean Taylor.

Elite death?

Maybe he just travels from Imperial-caused disaster area to Imperial-caused disaster area looting cool things. That could be fun.