The only universe in which “Randy Johnson” is a cool name is one where “Randy Johnson” is skinny, 6-foot-10, and has wildman hair. So congrats to Randy Johnson for not only overcoming a dorky name but making it cool.

Here is a helpful link.

The commenters who showed up, actually.

Pardon me Mac, but that sounds like slavery, not something a free man would do.

Plus I hear they turned a guy down who was willing to play for free, crazy

This is awful. But if anyone can come back from this, it’s this guy.

Husky and Starch

Getting tackled by a girl is nothing to be ashamed of. Now getting tackled by a kicker...

Counterpoint: Method Man has his own “grab ‘em by the pussy” moment: he is documented to have appeared on a Limp Bizkit album.

coo-pon sounds crude to me and it’s a habit I can’t break

Sure, but this isn’t in that same ‘vein’. It’s more nuanced, like if a person who regularly attends comedy clubs becomes insulted at a vulgar joke. And instead of writing a letter to their congressman, or furiously walking out, this person went home and acknowledged both the hypocrisy and legitimacy of that emotion.…

It’s all in the eyes of the beholder. For example, I consider myself a genius, but I’m widely regarded as an idiot in most places.

Don’t know and don’t care. I love this. Now it only works if he picks up the next first down but that’s a supreme fuck you to #45. You know, with the tomatoes and sour cream on top. This cream just happens to be extra sour.

Starship Troopers is good. Super Troopers is bad.

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

An old college nickname of mine was “Gary Nation”

That’s actually his real name. Giri is his pen name.

Miller’s Crossing.