I too wish the singers of bubble-gum pop music would more perfectly encapsulate the damage done by members of congress and the collective oligarchy in their bubble-gum pop music videos with people known for shooting fireworks from their boobs.

Somebody’s always getting hands on the Krafts, that’s for sure. 

Winston: Can I do your torso?
Winslow: No.
Winston: [does torso]

Everyone’s an armchair assassin.

TE Mark Murderer

Guy named “Chris Blewitt” is gonna be your kicker?  I don’t think so.  Who’s the QB ... Steve Piksix?  

Gardner Reaps What He Sows

Drake: I’m going to be the most dislikable courtside presence ever!

Who would have possibly thought that arming a bunch of non-combatants with minimal training would rapidly become more complicated than “good guy shoots bad guy?”

“Are you sure that’s a catch?”

FAKE POOS!

Jack Nicholson must be rolling over in his grave.

lotta guys out there robbing Peter for him

I understand that people want to get close as possible to the race car habitat for that perfect selfie, but somebody’s gonna get mauled by a driver one of these days.

For sure. If one thing gets people to open their wallets, it’s having a pigeon thrown at them.

They're just pigeons. 

So all this time my wife has been trying to pass a drug test?

The angry short man with the mohawk who voted for Brexit. 

“...that regardless of intent, he is ultimately responsible for what he puts in his body.”