I read your GQ article about hanging out with the Beiber. Does he have any idea that outside of the teen girls that follow him that he is pretty much hated? Is he so insulated by his camp that he has no idea or is the Beiber self-aware?

Bathroom stall doors where you can't peek and see the shoes of the person in the stall are terrible. I usually end up standing outside the closed door trying not to crap my pants and waiting for a cough or sniffle.

I have NO idea why you didn't get to be on Chopped. The "amateurs" they put on there are terrible.

There are people slightly younger than me (early 40s) who have never seen Star Wars. Of course, I ask if they were raised Amish.

I read your GQ article about the Kid Rock fan cruise. How bad did you feel for the crew on that ship? Was it just a puke filled warzone the entire time?

That would send me over the edge.

dumbest person on the Price is Right: The person who is not the last person to submit their bid who says "one dollar." I love the look on their face when the next person says "two dollars."

Love the new book!

Would that be covered by AppleCare?

How do you use the jumbo (poster-sized) stickies?

Yeah, but who has the more impressive unibrow?

Mine smelled like Cracker Jacks for a few years.

I must have watched that movie 50 times on HBO back in the 80's.

You going to go hang out near your new book at Barnes and Noble just to see if anybody buys it? I wrote one about 10 years ago and I'd go move it to other spots in the store. Employee's recommendation section!

They just opened one of those "girls in a bikini or borderline underwear coffee places" in the area. I've debated stopping, but i'd feel like I was propositioning a prostitute poorly.

My company just did one of those "build somebody's house" things. It wasn't a national one, just a local group that does ones around here. They split us into groups. Some painted, some nailed up some trim, but my group of four had to install drywall, put up a door and then cut a hole in the house to install a vent.

Ever jerk it in an adult movie store booth?

He pretending to be European?

That whole peninsula should detach and float around during games.

Are plastic bins the answer or end up just creating more of a mess?