You’ll get nothing and like it

Because: New Jersey.

They’re currently playing Mario Party on the giant screen next to our pod. There will be no blogs today.

Does Harry remember some guys?

But I already read the NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo

Yo dawg, I heard you like pizza diarrhea.

Yo dawg, we heard you like pizza. So we put your pizza inside another pizza so you can eat pizza after you’ve finished your pizza.

Vinnie’s got nothing on TacoTown:

A fight between Volvo and Tesla must be an existential crisis for a Jalopnik editor.

Let’s cut Goodell some slack here. They’ve got him on Skype or something. He probably only saw part of the video.

The other day, while trying to collect some vertebra, I came into a game that was already being invaded but nobody was fighting and just messing around. So I joined ‘em! But then another invader came in, saw us sitting around and tried to fight. So we all took them apart, pooped on them and went back to hiding in…

I’ll take ten of whatever you’re having.

$4,500 less in student loans today is like $10,000 in beer in 7 years. Warren Buffett taught me that. Rule of sevens, including don’t drink anything below 7% ABV.

*looks at every electronic device and toy in his house* Yeah. We really hate buying things that are made in china.

That's my plan but $4,500 on student loans because boring and responsible

So you must be 15

1. Take car to VW for reflash. 2. Collect $5k. 3. Spend $500 on chip. 4. Buy $4,500 of beer.

There’s an N64 in my apartment right now and it gets far more use than my Wii U, mostly because of Mario Party 2.

These types of sentences are fucking stupid. As if there aren’t a ton of transplants in the south that loved hockey growing up, and that people in the south can’t know and love hockey just as much as people in the north, even if we aren’t skating on frozen ponds from the time we’re 4 until we’re old and fat in some…

Can the Predators get some love here? The addition of James Neal in the offseason has been a godsend and the big gamble for Johansen has paid off. The Ducks were the better team, and shit the bed, but winning 3 of your 4 on the road isn’t easy, no matter who you’re playing. Everything was set up for the Preds to get…