Hey you’re within the lines. That’s huge!

Or the whole actual blade from the arm. Ask me how I know...

You should teach her a lesson.

I do that when I know I won’t have time to heat the car up. Then I can just scrape the windshield with the ice scraper quickly, drop the wipers, and be on my way. I don’t have to wait for anything to warm up. Usually it’s pretty useless, so especially when I know I’ll be snowed in at home I just leave them down and…

The only New Year’s resolution I’ve ever made and been able to stick to (not only for the whole year, but for two years since), was to stop falling asleep in the shower.

Would you eat this?

I tried playing DFS for hockey on one of the sites, but it would only let me Draft Kings. This seems shady, right?

Yeah like your food opinions count.

I wouldn’t eat it because it looks like one of the bugs killed in Starship Troopers

Just another mistake by Jim Tomsula at Levi’s Stadium.

Judging by the reputation of the ground’s crew and field at Levi, I’m betting by next weekend, both endzones will belong to the Browns.

But if both endzones say Broncos, how will Peyton Manning know which endzone to not throw touchdowns to?

That’s because the Broncos will own both end zones! - Fake hubris from scared shitless Broncos fan

This seems like an odd thing to be angry about....

You still wipe?

That crinkling sound was him opening the crackers, which he then PUT DOWN ON THE FLOOR.

Ciara already tried a Future upgrade; it didn’t take.

To make matters worse, RNG also fucked him out of his severance package.

If you dig back further, you’ll find Schlereth tell Thenextking83, “There’s a reason God didn’t call it the Bering Homosexual.”

“Perfect symmetry” is redundant. It’s like saying “insufferable ESPN personality.”