Obligatory:

We’re all having a great time, everyone. Really, a great time! No, I just cut an onion. Don’t worry. I’m fine.

According to Walmart, you can.

Can I do it to Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger instead? 

Good article. Even the most obtuse Trump supporter should be able to rationalize that Russia didn’t seek to influence this election in order to ensure that the strongest candidate won. They wanted (and got) the naive, exploitable guy.

Not as distracting as I thought it would be, so tip of the hat to Danny Elfman. Sort of like quiet spa music. It all worked out fine.

“The recently released video of the execution of Saddam Hussein by the Iraqi government raises some very important questions. Chiefly, is there anything on the internet I won’t masturbate to?”

I just watched it. When Matt Lauer, America’s Softball Lobber, grills someone, you know it’s bad. Also, Kellyanne looks tired and resigned at this point. It’s only been 26 days, Kellyanne. Buck up. You have a lot of lying ahead of you.

Having once been a teenage boy...

Of course; you can milk anything with nipples.

I’m done.

Am I… Do I… Do they want us to… Hm…

You know what’s going to happen when you raise wages though? A couple of unintended consequences:

When reached by the Post via email, Manigault responded with about the level of maturity and thoughtfulness one would expect from a White House official accused of threatening a reporter: “My comment: Fake news!”

Omarosa has never NOT been completely fucking terrible.

yes

Edit: Holy shit I got blacked? Thank you!

This administration is so fucking corrupt it’s making me long for the integrity of the Bush administration.

So, now we know why Yates was *really* fired...