That’s just the face she made when Bill O’Reilly walked in and looked at her like a fresh piece of Aryan meat.

1. Buy French press.
2. Brew coffee in French press.
3. Remove plunger and screen, drink coffee out of French press.
4. Cry
5. Do not wash French press.
6. Repeat steps 2-6 when applicable.

This was a summarized discussion from when I was learning CPR at scout camp almost 20 years ago, all focused on a question from a fellow camper who was concerned about touching a woman’s chest during CPR. Granted, the instructor was a 70-something WW2 vet who chain smoked the entire time, but please remember this was…

A man who takes photos of his poops and sends them to Adam Levine is ok in my book.

“Choo-choo, motherfuckers.”

-HamNo’s post if/when they make the playoffs

LITTLE SWEETIE WITH A BIG SWEETIE HOLY FUCK AHFKHDSGJKHWGORWKHJIO!!!!

“You Suffer” by Napalm Death

It’s 1 second long, people aren’t going to get all racist/butthurt about people “disrespecting it,” and, real talk, the lyrics are “you suffer, but why.” Sounds pretty ‘Murican to me.

(takes drag of nihilist cigarette)

I like the cut of your butthole, sir.

Whenever my dad made lunch when I was a kid, it’d be buttered white bread, American cheese and baloney. I remember asking why he’d butter a sandwich and he said his mom and most of his friend’s mom’s growing up would do it like that, so “shut up and eat it.”

So I did, and I was fat and happy about it until a kid told…

The campaign posters for the opioid crisis should just be a photo of a disheveled Irsay holding a briefcase shaking his fist at Andrew Luck.

I bet that douchecanoe sings “I am the Foodgod” to Kid Rock’s “I am the Bullgod” in the shower and I hate him more for it.

Those two fuckers could never hold a candle to Bright Eyes, Cooler, Nose or Howler, that’s for damn sure.

A Shogun named Donald.

Let’s not forget the sexual assault... the threats of sexual assault and just regular assault so his college kicker could play in the big game... the racist tirades...

Man fuck this guy. He should be forced to play nothing but Thursday night games.

Cottage Inn also got their start in Michigan, just like Hungry Howies.

Michigan - We gave you Dominos, Hungry Howies, Little Caesars, Jets and high blood pressure. You’re welcome.

No “Seoul Men?”

I’ll see myself out.

(Jumps down big hole in Oasis)

It’s been gloomy and rainy all week here, perfect for Ulver’s “The Norwegian National Opera.” Nothing says Nihilism and Woe like a bunch of Scandinavians politely clapping after each song.

The fact he’s associating with Peyton Manning should say all that needs to be said.

(passes bong)

Pizza chains, ranked by NTF, but excluding places he’s never been:

1. Jet’s - Go find a Jet’s (they’re starting to pop up in more and more college towns outside Michigan), and enjoy that mix of crispy four-corner pan pizza with the right amount of buttery grease to make you cream your jeans.