Why are we surprised? Nobody beats the Wiz.

That kind of hustle makes him the heart and seoul of the team.

Except his right foot is clearly outside the batters box when he makes contact.

I remember my first stand up double. Coincidentally, it was with a girl named Lee.

But there’s like these cameras that can see full spectrum, and colors that human eyes can’t pick up.

He’s only playing so long to pay off his massive student loan debt. Four full years of tuition at Wake Forest. Yeesh.

It’s a cat. He was probably just after some Trout.

So she ate a burrito at Chipotle, big deal.

No

I guess it’s good thing that young, muscular, athletically-gifted people don’t have a lot of sex then.

Is anyone else over the Olympics? I loved it as a child. Now I view it as the monetizing of manufactured nationalism often at the expense of countries who cannot afford to host them.

I believe it was Lenin who said, “Here, take this shit and you’ll be, like, wicked strong and able to run really fucking fast.”

“Urine a lot of trouble.”

This is a disgrace. A bunch of sweaty, jacked-up men running around Vegas, rippling muscles barely contained by their tight uniforms?

If the lackey acts like this, imagine what the villain is like!

Bethancourt replied: “cool it. I was just horsing around.”

He violated one of the unwritten rules by hitting a home run while a member of the San Diego Padres.

Your hot ex-girlfriend who you decided to break up with.

Yeah that’s great but can he hit a home run?

Yeah, but he clearly traveled on that last clip. #HighlightTruther