I don't want The Joker, dammit! I'm a Serenade man!

(Takes cash, goes home whistling)

This is one of the funniest comments I have ever seen on this site. I wish I could give it 1 million upvotes. I am outraged on your behalf that its brilliance is not more widely acknowledged.

Andy Rehfeldt's Disney version of Slipknot's "Wait and Bleed" is the best music ever.

Just like a lousy Commie to do that!

Cuban Missile Crisis?! I can't wait to see how that ends!

I sure hope someone got fired for that blunder.

Axl rose looks like Van Morrison now

No, I remember thinking anyone who thought tensions were easing just because Mikhail Gorbachev was opening the borders a little around 1988-9. I thought it was all Polyanna optimism until the Berlin wall actually started being torn down by citizens in late 1989.

I think you should rethink that feeling.

I was on Jeopardy once.

You're right. It is not enough to be sweet, kind, and caring. You also need self-confidence, maybe even a dash of brazenness. Self-pity is the devil. You are someone's idea of a terrific partner. I can promise you that.

I have told you before that these ideas about your physical attractiveness are in your head. I am under 5'6" and have back hair, and my girlfriend is a hot, 5'10" big-busted blonde lawyer. No, really.

I agree. I have zero opinion on her physical attractiveness but she deserves credit for forging what could have had a quarter of the shelf life of a Adam Sandler movie love interest into a lifetime career.

I had the original 12 inch high bearded GI Joe. I never knew anything about the weird three-color over the top weirdo GI Joe characters. They were like a special unit of the military that was forced to mimic the Village People.

HEY! COME OVER HEEAH AND LOOKIT THIS QUEEAH WHO THINKS YOU'RE ALLOWED TA HAVE YOUR OWN OPINION!

Ha! I wrote essentially the same comment before I saw this one. Yes, this idiot is an idiot.

"I hate horn sections in rock music"

As pure satire and a fun-house mirror of America's current state of #RacistCrazyAngry, this is legitimately funny news. Great job, internet!

Ditto