WHY MUST ALL OUR HEROES HAVE FEET OF CLAY

It's Jim Carrey, right?

The secret is… learn to *not* listen.

He'd be a better governor than the last couple we've had for sure, but… listen, I don't know how to tell you this, so I'm just going to come out and say it.

Only fools listen to the radio.

I may be the only person in the world with this opinion, but the album that song was on had, say, five quite good songs on it.

That doesn't sound like a thing

People are saying this guy's a hero. He's a hero because he lost? I like people who went across there to save Europe and won, okay.

So, I read this article as a warning for people with my sense of humor not to watch his special.

Goddamit, learn to read.

She was forced to switch seats. And yes, she does deserve to be strapped to the fucking wing. She is an evil, evil person who has caused huge harm in America.

I love the horrified looks of the two men. "Oh lord, just shut the fuck up!" they look like they're thinking

He was forcing that poor bull into talking deeper and acting manly, when really all he wanted to do was sit just quietly and smell the flowers.

That Frito Bandito commercial could never run today.

The only good producer of torture porn film franchises is a euthanized producer of torture porn film franchises.

When will Netflix get around to getting some good movies?

Of course! With a doctor, or at least a vet, present.

Everyone involved with the making of torture porn films should be put to sleep.

How did they design and manufacture the computers with wheels instead of opposable thumbs?

This is the best 11 Questions of all time.