We hate you because you are 53 years old and you say things like,

Counterpoint: Fuck Boston.

Just like the plural of Grand Prix is Grands Prix, the plural of Bland Prius is Blands Prius. 

Have the rules about hat-wearing been decided yet?

It’s so much easier for society to hate a fat (/ugly) woman

Don’t you know that becoming thin makes you a better person? Fat people are evil and good people are thin. /s

I’m sure the cable and network execs were simply aghast and in a panic when they got the urgent company wide alert that you had cancelled your cable.

Seconded. Any vehicle I buy (to DD) I keep to over 150,000 miles. I’ve never, ever given a damn about resale.

*looks out window at Saab 9000*

Neutral: I don’t give a fuck about resale value unless it is something special. The low resale values are good for buyers like me.

Stop saying, “full stop,” Adam Savage. A period ends a sentence. We get it.

I am jealous. My meal is already planned. I can’t sit there at the dinner table to eat my KFC/Wendy’s combo in front of my kid and husband while they eat real and healthy food (Their New Year’s resolutions. Total bullshit). Because when it comes to KFC, I ain’t sharing.

HEY NOW! This is what the internet is for. That’s an astoundingly good idea. We have a KFC close by that is right across the road from a Wendy’s and I am totally going to do this. Thanks kindly for what I believe is going to be my new favorite thing.

“I’m wearing this ring that Jack gave me and I’ll always wear it, because love is a really cool, powerful, eternal thing and it doesn’t have to be defined the way we in Western culture define it as beginnings and ends.”

I’m going to agree. KFC is a MAJOR weakness for me. If I am going through something stressful or difficult, my husband brings me home a bucket of the stuff. I’m too old now to feel shame. 11 herbs and spices makes me happy. Being surrounded by books makes me happy. Throw in a comfy armchair and I would happily live…

Not as mad as the horse-people were after Deadspin rightfully went after Olympic Equestrian.

Correct. Crazy how the Spanish language assigns genders to their nouns and this radical act of heinous subjugation has not stopped Spanish-speaking countries from having female heads of businesses, heads of industries, political leaders, etc.

“But then I realized that the last time something like this happened - a developed country declaring a million of its citizens “unwanted” and other countries accepting them as refugees - was probably Germany in the ‘30s.”

Latino, Latina or Latin-American.

Frack this shit.