Maybe he has a special condition where his bruises are invisible to others.

It's so weird. There's this thing you can do to remove some of the uncertainty and investigate the evidence ... what is it? What is it? OH YEAH. A TRIAL.

Well we can't have white men being lightly bruised now can we?!?!??!

Through 11 weeks, NFL game broadcasts have mentioned the word "Redskins" 711 times this season. That's down 39% from last season through the same number of weeks. ("Washington" is up slightly.)

Is it ok to genuinely like anything anymore? Dude is a handful-of-times-in-a-generation talent who had one of the best offensive seasons in NBA history last year and gave probably the most heartfelt MVP speech in American sports history. Who the fuck is worthy of our admiration in contrast? Please do tell.

Stevie is going to be so pissed when he sees this!

Stevie Wonder will now be suing for defamation. He will be represented by Maggie Lizer.

See, what we're really missing here is the vaccine truther (IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK, GIVE ME A SECOND!).

I've invited a number of people to try this, if you're so sure it was never a slur, do this: visit Tahlequah, Oklahoma, seat of the Cherokee Nation (or Okmulgee, seat of the Creek, any of them will do really.), walk up to the first Cherokee dude you see, call him a red skin right to his face and see how that goes. …

Looks like the problems kept multiplying for Tribbett, but that's really the Trouble with Tribbetts, isn't it?

"The team name was kept when they moved to Washington because of the importance the Boston Tea Party has to our national history..."

Your President('s Twitter account) is feeling a little cheeky today.

... embedded throughout their rich history as the original Americans.