Were you a… ROCK gnome?

I was a former tavern owner whose tavern had been burned down by one of the elemental cults, leaving nothing behind but a single cast-iron frying pan. I became a paladin of vengeance and vowed that it would be that very frying pan that brought the villains down (I had a feat that gave me proficiency in improvised…

I cast Darkness at the Magic Missile.

"Basically, burning this game would be an insult to fire."

Uh, we already know how she died. She drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra.

Yeah you kind of have to take Shakespeare to where people live if you want them to fuck with it at all.

An interesting thing I learned from my Spanish teacher was how different cultures can have different standards for what makes something "offensive." Where she was from (Venezuela), for instance, it was more socially acceptable to refer to someone by their race or body shape (i.e. "go talk to that chubby guy" or "that…

Stinky Barfchunks

Haha, URINE-us!

J. K. (rocking and) Rowling

Huh. I've had bland clementines, but I can't think of any bland oranges.

Oh jeez, the Demon Queen of Spiders will not be pleased.

SAYS WHO?!

Now I'm imagining Greg Universe's signature song but with "Comey" replacing "comet"

You know, I haven't read any manga in a really long time. I kinda miss it. I think the last manga I read was a Trigun omnibus I didn't realize was intended to take place after the end of the main series.

Man, oranges are such great snacks, though. They're the sort of fruit that can be counted on to always be really juicy and sweet.

oh my god stop being cute, both of you

Huh? Was this from an AVClub article?? SHOW ME.

They really missed the Mark with that one.

Eh, it doesn't seem dehumanizing to me. If it was about, like, making sure 15-year old girls know that 50 Shades of Gray is not healthy relationship advice, I would not (speaking as a feminist-type person) take any offense to that, either.