Texan here. I love you and to that horrid excuse for a human, bring it.

More baby elephants?

Where are you from? I'm gonna start packing.

And thank you for making me laugh-snort, love the gif

Ocean views? In Tampa?

This is the best KP ever. Of course it has WAY more to do with the awesomeness and insane level of bravery of some Yemeni people more than anything Ms Perry ever did.

fistful of Quaaludes, snarfed all over my laptop, I love you

Pretty sure that's unblended make up or a freak lighting thing that made some highlights shine extra bright.

Soups and sausage usually. Use it the same way you would sage.

Front row intro to linguistics.

Foofa ( I know you don't know me, please forgive the familiarity), would you mind helping me out? I believe I am in a rage-induced bout of illiteracy. Or I hope I am.

LOL YES. It's the answer to what do you put in your drummer stepfather's Christmas stocking.

Your comments have made me smile or think all damn day, but this one just made me laugh out loud. Gonna have to explain that to the people I've been ignoring.

Cactus is AWESOME. If you don't like to cook, flit right past the fresh paddles in the produce section and find some frozen strips, called nopales or nopalitos. I haven't ever touched the canned, I'm leary of those. (Okay, I love nopales. I also love okra, which I am now aware may be a food trigger.)

Oh god, we were not in close. It was about midnight and there was zero wind. I think we were in about 40 ft? And pretty close to the ship channel, hence the midnight dive.

I sailed there with my aunt and uncle every summer for years. Only once did my uncle get me to jump into the bay. In August. His favorite part is how I 'jumped out faster than I dove in'. The night the engine prop got tangled up in some random line and we were both in the water, I came out way, way too cold for…

Senator Royce West, Dallas, Texas. He's rather yummy.

I've been in your situation, as have a few members of my family, and our communal truth is, suck it, they aren't going to change OR the cost of implementing the change was way too harmful to the health of the relationship. Here are the solutions we came up (with varying degrees of severity).

Yes. This please. I'd love to read your work as well. Or at least your citations.

I was a nanny. A nanny who successfully got my babies to eat and love beets. Around Halloween. My babies also got INCREDIBLY excited by the slice and bake ghost cookies and jack o' lantern cookies. Black and orange cookie dough.