Every single person that goes on a Gawker post about a person and says, “I have no idea who this person is” can shampoo my crotch.

OK, Naomi Watts’s place is my DREAM. I adore the little booth in the kitchen, and the GREEN LACQUERED BAR?!? Be still my heart!

Pssssht did you SEE Portia attempting to get her ears pierced? She doesn’t stand a chance!

I have no idea. But someone asks me this at least once a day.

Celebrity Death Match with Portia Umansky.

But it has to be more than that, right? I mean, rape culture exists just about everywhere, so why are the incidents so concentrated in Norman?

Those wafers are some of my favorite things, whether by themselves, put in the cake that they’re meant to make, paired with toppings or dips.... I haven’t eaten lunch and now I’m craving these.

And then turn the lights off and just tell everybody to quit being rapists, guys, okay? We won’t stop at McDonalds if this continues!

Oh my God their names.

I’m just so tired

I’m honestly horrified. There has to be some kind of correlation here... and I’m not sure I even want to know what it is. Poor kids.

What are they teaching their children in that hell hole of a city?

I read a tweet once that said “vaping is a fedora for your mouth,” and I’ve always thought that Leo DiCaprio was the human version of a fedora, so by transitive property... was he smoking himself?

As a vegan and a cat lady, I WANT TO MURDER EVERYONE WHO TRIES TO PUT THEIR CAT ON A VEGAN DIET. What the fuck is wrong with people? Goddamn it. All of the rage.

Still waiting for the group of Cats to sue PETA over being forcibly fed vegan diets and lots of supplemental pills after their caretaker reads PETA vegan-cats guide.

Then they’ll turn around and shame Naruto for wearing fur.

Every time I think I could not hate PETA anymore than I already do, these mofos up their game.

PETA is the worst