You think that’s funny, huh?

Ben Carson delivered himself as a baby. He even snipped his own umbilical cord. Fact.

I can’t think about Steely Dan without remembering Clementine from Reno 911, and her tattoo that used to read “Steed” that she had edited to read “Steely Dan”. When she was briefly fired from the sheriff’s department, she became a groupie. They are very talented and I like a lot of their music, but I never felt real…

I like them but when I was in high school a friend said listening to Steely Dan made him think of Diane Keaton driving across the Golden Gate bridge in a convertible with the top down. That was 20 years ago but I can’t listen to them without remembering that observation.

Sugar (futures) Magnolia.

Tyga claims it was strictly business and completely PG

I was 18 and suffering from severe anxiety, I started taking recreational doses of prescription drugs on a whim (benzos and opiates mostly, but also stimulants and muscle relaxers and fucking ANYTHING) as many of my non-addict friends had done. Because of a strong genetic predisposition to addiction that I was unaware…

From what I can tell, it’s gotten much, much worse in the 5 years I’ve lived in Western Mass.

Same here. Meth makes the short list as well.

This is bad. Heroin is everywhere. I am struggling to stay away from it everyday. I have overdosed, once not that long ago, and it has ruined so much of my life, and still I crave it. I wouldn't wish addiction on my worst enemy and my only hope is I gather the strength to stay away from it. I started using when I was…

I have tried a few ‘things’ but heroin has always been on my nope list. Scares the bejeezez out of me.

YES! See this is why I insist on living in my affluent parents’ basement at age 52. It’s because I want to absorb their riches, obviously. I mean, duh. And get this, when I explained this to them, they just stared at me. Like I wasn't making any sense. They don’t get it, man.

This deserves more stars and a mic drop.

wait so this editorial board works near some of the richest people in the country in the OC so does this mean that they also can be paid $0.50/hour

Hahahahaha my mom used to always bitch about that when we’d read trashy magazines. “WHY DO THEY STAND LIKE THEY’RE ABOUT TO MAKE OUT”.

Like they had been conjoined, then separated, but still can’t get used to being apart.

You obviously know nothing about Future, his neglect of his other children, or the fact that he does, in fact, abuse Activis and any other other version of lean he can get. Then there’s the fact that he does not spend time with his other kids, has filed false documents about his income to avoid paying child support,…

I was thinking the same thing. It’s like they had been conjoined.

They’re still doing that Olsen Twin thing where they stand not quite facing each other, but almost. And a little too close together.

Like elderly fetuses.