My dad was an auto wholesaler during those years. He used to buy terminated fleets. Those 1983-84 high mileage Tauruses (Taurii), and their midsize brethren put me through college. (My first car was a 1980 Dodge Aspen, white with a burgundy landau roof. Off lease from Enterprise)

S-s-s-SEX-bomb-boooooogieee, dance on! dance on!

Stu-Stu-Stu-Studio Line from Loreal™

We have a Cafe Gratitude, and a friend-of-a-friend was asked by the server, “What are you grateful for today?” and to be an asshole, he said, “Dick Cheney.”

Ha, that is brilliant in its crazitude. My weirdo restaurant will be called “Misanthropy.” The menu items will be things like “Ugly mac n cheese”, “Terrifying cake,” and “Fucked up fried food platter.”

1) You are the most badass. There should be ballads written about you.

We had a regular at my library (who actually sounds a lot like the woman in Katie’s story) bring a suitcase in while she was at the computers. She got up and took her things with her to do something outside, then we noticed the puddle at her station. When she came back, our manager determined that she had been…

I don’t remember anyone hooking up there, but it has been called House of Guys since before I was out and a queerling.

I also didn’t know Houston was the San Fran of the South. I thought that was Dallas or Atlanta. I always felt like the kids in Houston moved to Dallas, Austin, Atlanta, LA, or NYC as soon as they…

So, this isn’t a food service story, but hand-smacking brought it to mind.

I know your roommate isn’t my spouse - because wrong gender - but he does this. No heat-generating appliances plugged in unless someone is home!

It’s actually more common in the legal profession than you might think.

There’s no corresponding asterisk for Lara’s story. Allow me to make one:

I haven’t been in years (been living in NYC for 10 years), but we used to go after clubbing, so I’m used to it, at 3 am, filled with drag queens and queer club kids.

I’m laughing because as a librarian, this does not shock me.

What is it with strange customers and soup? I never thought I’d have a story to contribute here because I’m a bookseller, but it turns out I’ve got one for you.

The librarian said it was a normal sized home use crock pot, so yeah, a gallon or so of volume. She didn’t assemble it on site, apparently she did it some place else and then carried the whole thing into the library.

I never have the “oh crap, I might barf now” reaction when reading these but the cherry one put me there. I had to do something else for about 5 minutes before continuing.

She was afraid of deep things, so she couldn’t partake in bowls.

Here, blow your nose ;)

Here a few more