truer words never spoken

I spelled Roseanne’s name wrong, I know. I have a relative who spells it without the middle E and i forget sometimes

Uuuuugh I have lived here in TX for 12 years and I have yet to touch a gun that I didn’t have to move to clean around it, in someone else’s house. My husband and I will always be east coast to the bone. Probably the best thing about where I live is that it’s built up around a combination of some of the busiest and…

Have you seen her show, Rosanne’s Nuts? I think it’s on the WE network and it’s so cute. It’s kind of like that show that Kirstie Alley had (speaking of religious coocoos), just following them around, I find it very soothing.

You are killing me because you are describing my uncle except he is in his SIXTIES and like that and my grandmother won’t let the rest of us get her away from him because he is her “little boy.” like seriously I’ve been hiding in my apartment for the last 2 weeks because I have been dealing with this situation (mostly…

the Flesh Volcano

HER EARS

Wow this is awesome, I’ve never heard of it! Thanks!!

Swooooon.... he changed my mind about pro wresting AND Canada.

I’m sorry, I know people hate when this is asked, but what is this from? I can’t do the reverse lookup thing. And it cracks my shit up every time so I need to know.

Disco, casino, it’s all in the mind.

I need to believe that that one lady really did make her way down the line repeating “my drink is the grossest thing I have ever tasted” verbatim to like 15 people standing 2 inches apart from each other. And someone finally said “I KNOW, WE CAN ALL HEAR YOU.”

I live in TX in an area that looks just like this and I see shit like every kind of passing in every way, every time I’m on the road, especially these FM roads. Sometimes it’s fine, sometimes people wreck for any number of reasons. I don’t know why everyone is attacking you. People drive like maniacs everywhere (I…

lol I feel so ahead of the game since I figured out you’re not a dude

I taught myself how to raise one eyebrow after reading Are You There God It’s Me Margaret! She could only raise one, not the other, like me.

OMG you are gorgeous you and your man are the hottest.

I stuck with THE WORST guy for most of 2 years because I was in my early 20s and I thought if I ended our miserable relationship my family and friend would be MAD AT ME!!!! I remember telling my mom we had broken up and weeping “are you mad?” and my mom was like “whaaaaaaaaat?” Then I met my first husband who was and…

I can’t STAND it when people think it’s hilarious to say “I’m 29...again!” etc. Even the years I wasn’t sure about I was always like “yeah I’m this old, and?” 47 comeatmebro!

I went to a retreat once where one of the speakers did a whole bit about how the hostess of the event was a “juicy crone,” and how awesome that was. Maybe it’s something that’s bestowed?

Are they happy grey cats now like my grey cats?