My grandmother is 97 and is still enabling, supporting, housing, in denial about, and being robbed by my 63-yo drug addict uncle. I am literally not in any position to do anything about it, all I can do is cheer her up by calling every week, but when she says “he’s my baby boy, I can’t put him out” it’s so hard for me…

Amen. I’m going on 6 months with no alcohol and it scares me to think that if I’m not the shiny happy stoner (yeah, yeah) everyone’s gotten used to recently, like if I have a mood, people will think I’m drinking again. I try to have all my feelings before I leave the house so people don’t worry about me! Seriously, I…

Cosign, both parts but especially the first. I recently spent the better part of a week in the hospital detoxing horribly from alcohol, and people were so surprised because everything around me is “nice.” I actually had a friend say, “but your apartment was never covered in puke and sticky bottles and solo cups?” This…

I did that in a nail salon once. This awful woman was just unleashing a non-stop stream of abuse on the woman doing her pedicure (and I don’t have to tell you she had some nasty-ass feet going on). Once mine was done, I stood up to go and tipped my pedicurist and said “thank you... and YOU [glare] should be nicer to…

UGH I know a mom who talks about how her kids “won’t eat fruit or vegetables” and she gives this little “whaddaya gonna do?” face/shrug that makes me want to sterilize her. Why is that even an option. I refuse to believe that I’m the only kid who ate what was put in front of me, even if I made everyone around me…

I have it on good authority that a lot of meth dealing happens in school libraries, at least. My friend who teaches at the local college is on the committee to hire a new librarian (this new “look” makes me feel like I’m typing a book for children, where are the pictures?) (or formatting a paper to meet a page length…

Cary Elwes also can’t do. I don’t know how many jobs as Americans he gets, but in an SVU ep he plays a New York attorney and his attempt at that accent is painful. I know there’s something else where’s he’s just trying to sound like American Joe and he sounds like hell.

This is more like us too... I do my best not to fart around him, but if I have to and don’t feel like leaving the room, I’ll apologize if he can hear it (he claims not to be able to smell anything he doesn’t want to smell).

OH MAN! I lived in this town for a year, over a bar, on the wrong side of the tracks. My husband went to high school here! It is a cute little town. I love Union County.

“Awkward choices” is going to be my go-to for “WTF were you thinking!????” That was an awkward choice you made, sleeping with the boss’s wife.

I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THIS

I was the cautionary tale for years in my family, for my younger cousins. I went to an outdoor wedding for a cousin when I was 18. I was the only person from my branch of the family there, and I spent the entire time I was conscious mixing myself half-and-half screwdrivers until I passed out very decorously under a…

Better than yoga farts.... fortunately for me I’m incapable of ever being that relaxed, I just hear them flying around.

“the old sesame street show”

I might be wrong, because I would have been too young to hear about this in school specifically, but I feel like I remember Roots being suggested watching for history students in the 1970s and beyond. There’s also a good chance I remember that from a Freaks and Geeks episode or something.

Wow, you kick my ass. I came to brag that I saw New Kids on the Block and Tiffany at the Delaware State Fair in 1998-90. My friend and I watched most of the show through a hole in the fence by the racetrack where they played, we were in college at the time and had just come for the fair not knowing what amazing…

There is a band called Ak’Chamel that wears much scarier versions of these, with antelope horns, when they play. They play on some of the same bills that my band does in Houston and while they’re very cool dark metal-y atmospheric whatnot, I can’t stay in the same room where they’re playing because they terrify me, I…

I love her and wish I had seen her on WWHL. So many celebrities that you don’t really sit around and think about a lot are so charming and fun on that show.

I would not be able to stop obsessing over how I smelled

Cop face?