put on your house clothes and make it fashion

Better Kinja burner name?:

I really, really thought that the headline was a dig at Melania for English being her second language. And I was going to say that was cheap. BUT “BE BEST” REALLY IS THE SLOGAN? I’m done. wtf.

Austin is a blueberry in a bowl of tomato soup

For godsake just wear a head-pillow-sock-thing like a dignified adult.

I usually recline the seat all the way back, and give the shoulder belt one solid wrap around my neck. It works just like one of those airplane pillows.

Ok, yeah. Literally babies, not “babies”. Does she go check, or just leave the potential baby there in the road? Now I’m confused.

I’ve been thinking about Miley a lot this weekend in light of the Michelle Wolf craziness. Remember when Miley did that ridiculous dance at some awards show with Robin Thicke and she was dragged so badly? NOBODY said shit to the grown-ass married man who also participated or the producers (old white dudes, no doubt)…

Hm, what a thought, I never nude I could do that...

Did you try Blueing yourself?

What kind of parents want LESS help? I want web seminars, classes, libraries and my parenting team to chime in so my kids get whatever info they need.

You take that back. They did the best damn Gob of any show from the mid-2000s.

Along those lines - if you hate your haircut, TELL ME. I can change the color, to an extent I can change the length or the texture, I can even get you another stylist if you don’t want me anywhere near your head. But I can do none of that unless you tell me that. If you just nod and smile and tell me it looks great,…

100% Charlotte is gonna greet this kid with a full list of rules as to how it’s gonna be. New baby can either shape up or ship out.

Maternity wards should just give out badges to men that they can flash people to show they’re legit

I learned to drive on an Isuzu P’up. It was brown. We called it the poop.

I love how she ends comms with “Have a good day.” and “Thank you for the assistance.” in a calm and cool manner. Like hey I lost a chunk of plane and a passenger so my day is shit. I hope yours is pleasant.

On the plane I fly when a major malfunction occurs we disengage the autopilot, regain control of the aircraft run any drills and then and only then do we consider engaging the autopilot again.

Do NOT mess with the narrative. She went to the bank and wrote a check for $300,000.