I don’t know. I think I can get behind Carrie’s self-absorbed, alternate reality. In that world, where women are concerned with nothing more than building-up other women, I’m guessing we have someone else in the Oval Office.

Also, Carrie Underwood can GTFO with that “women build up other women” shit. That’s the kind of bullshit Kellyanne Conaway tries to pull when people (rightfully) call her out for her terrible positions.

I’ve been using “clap’s back” for years.

Don’t you see the word “if” there, asshole?

Go ahead, move them out to Rosemont, Schaumburg, or Naperville, they’ll still tell everyone that they’re from Chicago

Fittingly, Kewan Platt is the only D-III athlete named after the onscreen fight graphics from the Adam West version of Batman.

Not to be that guy, but 2004 players throwing opening pitches is going to take, like, 19 hours.

Listening to Smoltz have a meltdown made the whole thing worth it, regardless of it actually works or not.

Jesús is now on the 3-day disabled list.

No major injuries except for being without their top starting pitcher the entire season.

Brewers / Astros.

I could talk about this all day, man. I’m a 36 year old Brewers fan, so I’ve known mostly shit for my life. 2008 was a glimmer of a future, and 2011 was the year that could have been. But this, finally, FINALLY feels like a team that’s going to be more than just a flash in the pan.

Fear the Near 

Are you saying there is something in the deer tonight?  Oh lord!

Why even write about this? Are we going to ruin Javy Baez’s life over what he did 35 minutes ago? Plus, three of his best buddies on the Cubs said they didn’t remember any interference.

.200: The Chris Davis line

Yes.

god bless peppermint rolls

In the first round, the contestants were tripped up by a clue about 16th-century Russian opera. In the second round, it was just Grayson Allen.