True story! I’ve got the Roadmaster for sale, so I may need a replacement weiner soon.

You’re famous now!

Q: Can you describe the scene in Bristol when Schilling was fired from ESPN?

they really broke the mold on this one.

Shut your damn mouth. Self Checkout is the greatest thing in the world, because it allows you to buy embarrassing as shit without having to face a judgemental cashier. They took out all the self checkout aisles from my CVS and I wanted to punch a child in the stomach. So now I have to buy several other things so…

Negative interest? What does he look like, a Japanese bank?

And here I thought Jerry had a great relationship with the president of Crackle.

I still don’t really even know what Crackle is, and I’m a CICGC addict.

I’m glad it’s leaving Crackle... Crackle setup sucks !

FTFY

They may make you look wealthy, but 8/10 of these could bankrupt you.

“Our culture is filled with bars and strip clubs on every corner.”

Ken Bone, the undisputed winner of last night’s debate

OBVIOUSLY they didn’t leave it up long enough for you to notice it was an owl.

Nobody is feigning it.

Um, he’s wearing a microphone. And yet he still said all that.

So another semi-literate redneck is actively voting against his own interests.

If you’re noticing your age, you’re too old for that shit.

Mr. Trump, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God…