I love the first series “Albert and Drew are Hungry”
Now I want “Ashley Feinberg is Thirsty!”

You know, for all of us who just can’t get enough of Schilling during THIS election... #BeautifulDaughter

Last wedding I went to was the infamous “Michigan State special team beats Michigan” game (one year ago today) and it was FULL of the grooms family from Michigan, half fans of one and half of the other. The play happened 20 minutes before the wedding started....

In fairness, Chris reported he was going to MTV News

Look, fuck the Players Tribune forever, but they should win definitely so Vin Scully could ride on a big ass float telling stories about other parades he’s seen

“Could we ask you to RUN WITH THE WOLF? Sure. Maybe we could encourage you to SHOW US YOUR FANGS. It’s not that. It’s more that we, as an organization, are asking you to BE A MEMBER OF THE WOLFPACK and to DO THE DEW.”

My college house was affectionaely named Tugboat by the guys who lived there before us. We thought it was because it was a house that looked, eerily enough, like the interior of a tugboat (and it did.) Apparently it ACTUALLY got the name cause the guys enjoyed jerking off in the living room.

So, you know, not all house…

How many horses HAVE you touched though?

This seemed like an intricate way to trick me into reading Kemp’s boring letter

I got on a plane in San Jose (the closest airport to the stadium, swear on my life), with Steve Young onboard. It was Southwest, which means everyone had to walk by him. No one recognized him. FUCCCCKK this team

Remorseful? You haven’t even SEEN remorseful

Did I miss the vote on calling him “Bill” nowadays? Are the days of him being a precocious little scamp behind him?

Trick question: The biggest athlete party is the total “ESPN The Body Magazine” fuckfest that occurs in the Olympic village.

“Welllll, Uhhh, AT LEAST OUR STADIUMS WERE BUILT IN A TIMELY FASHION”

I finally broke down and bought a PS4 at cost after never quite getting a “low enough” price (cheap to the core.... the heavens opened when you offered a standing mixer at less than $200 one time)

Which begs the question, which favorite product of yours never seems to be on sale enough? The “White whale,” if you will?

I finally broke down and bought a PS4 at cost after never quite getting a “low enough” price (cheap to the core....…

Bingo. The institution’s biggest win here is a scapegoat, and Starr doesn’t need much help taking that role

“LeBron is the kid at Christmas who bitches because there are no more presents left to open.”

False. LeBron is the kid who passively complains about the presents. “Wow, Timmy’s parents got him a Teddy Ruxpin. Dedication! How thoughtful!”

“softest target”

C’mon guys, not you too....

Obligatory Fuck Leitch