Then ADD ANOTHER LAYER OF SELF-HATRED, SIR

Self hatred is reading this article and your first thought being “Why is there no ‘Philly Philly’ Bud Light Eagles shirt.”

I am 28, and my wife (who is not 70 I might add) loses her mind for grandfather clocks. So does everyone in the “OMG Fixer Upper is the best show on the planet” section of millennial. Please do me the courtesy of just sending me all your grandfather clocks.

The Kong Beaver toy is listed at $10.49, and I don’t see a code. Something I’m missing?

The Kong Beaver toy is listed at $10.49, and I don’t see a code. Something I’m missing?

I’m obligated to say Fuck Will Leitch here 

Damn I hope Twitter doesn’t ban us from sharing this too :/

*takes a deep drag on his cigarette*
We all are

The Transcontinental Railroad. Because holy fucking shit, a lot of people died building that thing.

“Ben Margot”

I hope they labeled the manila envelope it came in “SUPER SECRET EVIDENCE AGAINST ZEKE” to make sure he opened it quickly.

Damn, there may have been more bad Rex Ryan performances that we didn’t even KNOW about

“BlackPlanet. I mean, no! No! Shit!”

And that guy probably didn’t even mean it about that squirrel thing

4.... plus one....

*looks at last name*

Woof

Wait, did this line get added TO the story? Or are you just.... copy and pasting a line you liked

Guys, I’m so sorry, it appears my sad Uncle Tom is on Kinja now

Peanut Butter and Butter Burrito

Look man, I thought I remembered a Kazaam starring Sinbad too, but I imagine if I had heard something like that in the incredibly fragile days after 9/11, it would stick out as more than just a mis-remembering.